Saturday, July 11, 2015

Snazzy Snippets: Rocky and Skyler




So Alyssa @ The Devil Orders Takeout and Emily @ Loony Literate are hosting a link up called Snazzy Snippets. It's bimonthly and you post snippets from your writing under one of the categories. 

You should check it out and link up! 

So I thought I'd do:



A snippet that’s mostly dialogue



It's from the Oddball the Sequel. It's also in Rocky's POV. And I left it in all it's inglorious, non-edited state, because. . . I make mistakes.



Ergh, typing so fast while writing a scene. Then I can't even edit it later!
Luck for you, that didn't happen in this time.





To be honest I probably have scenes with more dialogue than this. But I rather like this one, and you've seen a piece of it already. I thought you might like it better whole. (And by the way, they had been traveling in a "car." Or a very crude, bus-like version of one. . .Also Rocky is not a morning person. More accurately, he finds the whole process of waking up a general nuisance.)






Rocky opened his eyes. Light. He shut them tight, and rubbed his face. He yawned before trying to open them again.

“Sleeping beauty’s awake?” 

he turned over on his stomach. 

Skyler knelt down in front of him. 

He yawned again. “Why does the light have to be so bright?”

“Because it’s afternoon?” she said it matter of factly but turned it into a question. How he wasn’t sure. But she did, all the same.

“It’s too early to be coy.” Rocky pushed himself up and ran a hand through his hair it was flat on one side and stuck up on the other. 

“you mean late.”

“No, no I meant what I said.”

“Sure.”

The car was empty. “where are the other two? They didn’t kill each other did they?”

Skyler laughed. “Not yet at least. They’re outside.”

Huh? He gave her a confused look.

Skyler leaned closer like she was telling a secret. “You do realize that we aren’t moving any more right?”

Not moving? He set his hands on the floor at his sides. Oh. “So we’re not.”

“We’ve arrived.” 

“Yes, okay, I think I got it from here.” He stood. Where he put his pack? “After you help me find my comb at least?”




After he looked more decent with a shirt that was a little less wrinkly than the one he had slept in. Because it was hard to keep clothes nice in aback pack. Anyhow, all was well.

Skyler had already gone ahead of him. Rocky stepped out into the dirt road. The sunlight was even more blinding out here. Oddball and Peril were fighting about somehitng. Bacon. And where it comes from or something like that. 

Skyler had doused the fire and Oddball kicked dirt over and waved his arms in the air.

“Turkey bacon does exist,” he said wildly. “Bacon is meat taken from a specific part of an animal. It does not have to be pork-“

“But it does not tatse the same,” Peril said.

“Well, turkey and pork generally don’t.”

“Than why do them both bacon?” Peril crossed her arms.

Oddball sighed. “Look not all pork is bacon either, okay?”

Skyler walked up and handed Rocky a plate. “I should’ve skipped the bacon and just went with eggs and toast.”

Rocky snatched up the bacon first. Offender of today’s peace. “I’ve never seen anybody who could get Oddball so worked up.” 

“And over bacon too,” skyler said.

“This is pretty good,” Rocky managed to get out around his food. “I mean, it’s cold, and that’s totally my fault.” He took another bite. “but it’s good all the same.”

“when you’re done, could we leave?” Skyler stared at the two bickering. A small smirk traced her lips as she watched Peril. Did Skyler know something he didn’t? Because Peril was just beign as irrational and annoying as normal.

He glanced at Oddball. “yeah, I’m done. Hey!” he shouted. The other two stopped in mid-yell and stared at him with innocent faces. Yeah, right. “Let’s kick this thing off, huh?”

Oddball grabbed the dishes at their feet, and Peril snatched up her quiver and bow.  Oddball muttered past him as the kid took the dishes into the vehicle. 

“See?” Rocky turned to Skyler. “All better.”

She rolled her eyes. “Just perfect.”

He offered her his arm. She took it and when he tugged her closer she bumped up against him and smiled finally. They started walking to the tree line. 

“You know something Rocky?” Skyler said.

“What?”

“The driver said that Daron’s house was in the east.”

“I’ll take a wild guess: This isn’t east, is it?”

“No.” She laughed. “Here.” She turned them in the opposite direction where Oddball had already marched off and Peril just gave them this weird look. 

Rocky’d given up on trying to read Peril a long time ago. 

“what’s happening/” she asked.

“We’re going to see Daron,” Skyler offered.

“But which way?”

Skyler nodded toward Oddball.

Peril sprinted in that direction.

“Peril,” Rocky shouted after her. The Shamdram skidded to a stop. He wasn’t sure how anyone could dig their heels in the ground, stop at such an angle, and still remain upright. “Just hang back for a while.”

Another weird look.

“he means,” Skyler said, “To give Oddball some space.”

“Oh.” Peril nodded. “Is he always such a grumpy lump?”

“yeah, pretty much,” Rocky said. “but we tolerate him anyways.”



14 comments:

  1. Nice snippet! I always love reading dialogue, it's never boring. Perhaps I should also do this link-up. :)

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    1. Thanks! I love dialogue too. :)

      Yes! You should link up. It's a lot of fun, and I'd love to read your post.

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  2. I AM LOVING THE BANTER. In fact, I just love scenes that are mostly dialogue - they flow so nicely :) Thanks for linking up!!

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    1. Thanks! The flow of dialogue is always the best. :) Thanks for hosting!

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  3. CAN I SAY I WOULD LOVE READING THIS BOOK?! Just saying. The banter in the dialogue, the flow of the scene, everything. I love it! If you need someone to beta your book, though it's okay if you don't...I'M HERE <3 Love the excerpt, Ashley :P

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    1. Thanks so much! That is definitely encouraging. :D I probably won't be needing betas soon, but when I do, I'll remember. ;) Thanks again!

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  4. I love these characters and your writing. The Bacon part was my favorite.

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    1. Thanks!

      That's probably my favorite too. My brothers, and at times Dad, and I will talk about the evils of turkey bacon, and I knew it had to make it into one of my books. So when I had to come up with an argument for Oddball and Peril it was the perfect place for it. :P

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  5. Fun snippet! Who doesn't love a conversation about bacon? Your characters are witty and bounce well off each other. Such creative names too - love Peril and Oddball. :)

    - Sarah Epstein
    (will only let me post as Anonymous for some reason)

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    1. Oops. No, there's my name. As you were... ;)

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    2. Haha! Thanks! Yes, they do bounce, though sometimes they aren't so nice and congenial. . . This scene was one of their better days! I think that's why I like it so much.

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  6. This is hilarious! I struggle with writing banter (although I am posting a little tonight for my own Snazzy Snippets post), but you do it marvelously here. TEACH US YOUR WAYS. Thank you for linking up with us!

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    1. Thanks!

      I guess it just helps to have characters who will banter. Some characters by their nature/personality, just don't engage. They hang back and watch. (For the longest time, Oddball did this.) Their snide replies tend to be internal monologue. *shrugs*

      Thanks for hosting!

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  7. YAY SNIPPETS!! I love this peek into your writing. ;-) And I think bacon is a legit thing to get worked up about. I understand, Oddball,I do.

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