Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Just myself

           A song that describes me?

            Uuuhhhhhhh. I'm drawing a blank here.

           This song challenge is really long. . . especially when I keep skipping days. Heh. Okay, how about this song. I Can Just Be Me by Laura Story.

I've been doing all that I can
To hold it all together
Piece by piece

           This definitely describes me right now. With school and work and everything. I'm on the edge of burn-out.

I've been feeling like a failure
Trying to be braver
It's just not me

Being friendly and outgoing is not me at all. But sometimes I have to be. Especially at work. Sometimes I get tired of trying (trying to do anything) and wish someone else would hold me up. Because sometimes I feel like I'm the one holding everyone else up. And I'm just not strong enough.

I've been living like an orphan
Trying to belong here
But it's just not my home

           Recently, everywhere I go, everywhere I look, and everyone I see, makes me feel more and more like I don't belong here. Or anywhere. And I feel more restless all the time with trying figure out where to belong.

I'm so tired of trying to be someone
I was never meant to be
Be my God
So I can just be me

The first time I heard this song on the radio, I realized that I never really can be anything else but me. Trying for something else would be pushing the limit or underscoring. So why try? Why not just be me? And let God fill in the empty spaces that I leave behind. Because alone, I'm inadequate. And that's okay. God can make it work, if I let Him. It's just nice to know that it's okay to be myself even if I'm not strong enough, or don't belong, or am an introvert.

          Since you all are probably tired of these song posts. Guess what?! A book review is coming up! Icefall by Matthew J. Kirby. I cannot wait to tell you about it. It kicked the reading slump to last month. Amazing book.

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